Gambling every day, smoking marijuana every evening, eating compulsively, drinking alcohol every day; any one of these can be a sign of an addictive personality type. Stopping eating compulsively only to begin shopping compulsively or stopping drinking alcohol only to eat compulsively; more signs of a compulsive personality type. Any one of these compulsive behaviors can be self-destructive and combined they can be a danger to a person or a family.

Addictions can develop to alcohol, illegal drugs, legal drugs, shopping, shoplifting, sex, pornography, gambling or video games. Addictive personalities are complex, multi-layered and difficult to diagnose, but certain characteristics seem to be present, regardless of the particular addiction. When does excess turn into addiction? When the activity in question is performed to the point where average daily living activities are upset and ignored, where the particular activity becomes more important than one’s job, family, school or normal social activities.

While officials may disagree with generalizations about diagnosing addictive personalities, they do agree that addicts share common character traits, one of which is a need to seek and obtain some form of extreme outside stimulation as a means for pleasure. The form of the activity is not as important as the fact that there is some activity, thus the ability for the addict to shift addictions, or for cross-addiction. It is not uncommon for former alcoholics to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee, for former alcoholics or addicts to become gamblers or for alcoholics to become addicted to sex or pornography.

Certain personality types are pervasive amongst addicts. The most common is an antisocial personality, wherein the person is not comfortable around others, feels alone in a crowd and has had these feelings since childhood. They often just feel like they do not fit in anywhere. They often lack intimacy and substitute drugs or alcohol for a relationship.

People with compulsive behaviors often use substances to obtain a quick fix to a quick need. Delayed gratification is a foreign concept for addicts. If an uncomfortable feeling arises, the use of a drug, shopping spree or gambling binge will be used, rather than facing the feeling and working through it. Addicts avoid dealing with feelings and use external things to medicate themselves. The things can be food, drugs or the high from sex or pornography. Almost any addiction will do the job.

Addicts are compulsive people. They see the world as black and white, as right and wrong. Often they are perfectionists who cannot succeed due to their need to be perfect. They may feel like a failure while being very successful. They may be so afraid of failure that they cannot succeed. Their measure of self-worth is often far below what others may think of their actions and abilities. This makes for a difficult, unstable life, with a constant need to feel good about one ’s self. Addictions fill that need.

People who suffer from depression often use addictions to alleviate the hopeless feelings that come with depression. Using substances to dull the feelings often allows the addict to prolong the depression and to avoid dealing with the underlying issues causing the depression, whether they are organic or environmental.

So what if we see the signs of an addictive personality in ourselves or in a family member? Don’t we all like to shop, engage in sexual activity, or eat foods we like? When does pleasure collide with addiction? If your or a loved one pursue what brings pleasure to the point where responsibilities are being ignored, to the detriment of yourself or others, then addiction is arising. How do we get back in balance? Counseling and 12 step groups are helpful to call attention to the behaviors and to allow the person to know that they are not alone in having these feelings or behaviors.

For more information on getting help for your or a loves ones addiction please contact Hawaii Island Recovery 1-866-515-5032 at or via our online form.

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